Best jokes

What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?
→ Wait until he's finished.

What do you get if you cross a snake with a hotdog?
→ A fangfurther.

What kind of snake is good at math?
→ An adder.

A old snake goes to see his Doctor.

- Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days

The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks.

The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed.

Doc says:

- What's the problem...didn't the glasses help you?

- The glasses are fine doc, I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!

There where two snakes talking.

The 1st one said:

- Sidney, are we the type of snakes who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they're dead? Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisioned?

Then the second Snake says:

- Why do you ask?

The 1st one replies:

- I just bit my lip!

- Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4?

- Pupil: That's not fair! You answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one!

- Teacher: Where is your homework?

- Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren't the best teacher in the school

- Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour?

- Pupil: Because it can't sit down!

- Teacher: Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is?

- Pupil: I expect it's around Hadrian's garden miss!

- Teacher: What's 2 and 2?

- Pupil: 4

- Teacher: That's good.

- Pupil: Good?, that's perfect!