Best jokes

What is yellow and goes click-click?
→ A ball-point banana.

- Witch: Will I lose my looks as I get older?

- Wizard: With luck, yes.

Did you hear about the witch who did a four year course in ugliness?
→ She finished it in two.

What happened when the witch went for a job as a TV presenter?
→ The producer said she had the perfect face for radio.

Don't look out of the window, Betty, people will think it's Halloween.

- People keep telling me I'm beautiful.

- What vivid imaginations some people have.

- Fred keeps telling me that he's going to marry the most beautiful girl in the world.

- Oh, what a shame! And you've been engaged for such a long time!

Where is everyone beautiful?
→ In the dark.

- I've just come back from the beauty parlour.

- Pity it was closed!

A monster went to the doctor with a branch growing out of his head.

- Hmmm - said the doctor. I've no idea what it is.

The next week the branch was covered in leaves and blossom.

- I'm stumped - said the doctor, but you can try taking these pills.

When the monster came back a month later the branch had grown into a tree, and just a few weeks later he developed a small pond, surrounded by trees and bushes, all of them on top of his head.

- Ah! - said the doctor, I know what it is. You've got a beauty spot.

A witch went into a beauty parlor and asked the assistant how much it would cost to make her look like a film star.

- Nothing - replied the assistant.

- Nothing? - she asked, but how can I look like a film star?

- Haven't you seen a film called The Creature from the Black Lagoon? - replied the assistant.