Best jokes

- I'm sure I'm right.

- You're as right as rain - all wet!

"Gosh, it's raining cats and dogs," said Fred looking out of the kitchen window.
"I know," said his mother.
"I've just stepped in a poodle!"

Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual morning cup of coffee listening to the weather report on the radio.

"There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared," the weather report said.

"You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets."
Ole said, "Jeez, okay," and got up from his coffee. The next day they were sitting down with their morning cups of coffee.

The weather forecast was, "There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the even numbered side of the streets."

Again Ole replied, "Jeez, okay," and got up from his coffee. Two days later, again they're sitting down with their cups of coffee and the weather forecast said, "There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the..." and the power went out and Ole didn't get the rest of the instructions.

He turned to Lena, "Jeez, what am I going to do now, Lena?" Lena replied, "Aw, Ole, just leave the car in the damned garage today."

What is a tornado?
→ Mother nature doing the twist!

Why do hurricanes travel so fast?
→ Because if they travelled slowly, we'd have to call them slow-i-canes.

Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
→ Because then the children have to play inside.

Who is it that everybody listens to but nobody believes?
→ The weatherman.

If a band plays music in a thunderstorm, who is most likely to get hit by lightning?
→ The conductor.

What kind of umbrella does the Queen of England carry on a rainy day?
→ A wet one.

What person adds best in hot weather?
→ A summer.