Best jokes

Two rednecks from Arkansas were out hunting.

They decided to separate to get a better chance of catching something.

The first redneck says to the other:

- If you get lost, fire three shots into the air every hour. That way I can pinpoint you and find you.

After about three hours, the second redneck finds he is really lost. He decides to fire three shots into the air as the first man told him. He then waits an hour and does it again. He repeats this until he is out of ammo.

The next morning, the first redneck finds the second with the help of forest rangers. He asks the second redneck man if he did what he told him to do.

The redneck answers:

- Yes, I fired three shots into the air every hour on the hour until I ran out of arrows.

Did you hear about the bear hunter?

Well, he was out hunting for bears one day, and soon came across a large, trophy sized bear. He raised his rifle and took careful aim. Just as he was about to pull the trigger, the bear turned and began to speak to him!

- Isn't it better to talk than to shoot? What do you want? Let's negotiate the matter - said the bear.

Lowering his rifle in shock, the hunter thought a second, and then replied:

- I want a fur coat.

What's the easiest way for a Gorilla hunter to make money?
→ Collect unemployment insurance!

The Wednesday-night church service coincided with the last day of hunting season. Our pastor asked who had bagged a deer. No one raised a hand. Puzzled, the pastor said:

- I don't get it. Last Sunday many of you said you were were unable to make service because of hunting season. I had the whole congregation pray for your deer.

One hunter groaned:

- Well, it worked. They're all safe.

What's the difference between a hunter and a fisherman?
→ A hunter lies in wait. A fisherman waits and lies.

What do you get if you cross a telephone with a hunting dog?
→ A golden receiver!

What is the best way to hunt bear?
→ With your clothes off

Two fathers and two sons went duck hunting.
Each shot a duck but they shot only three ducks in all. How come?
→ The hunters were a man, his son and his grandson.

What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter?
→ "Quack! Quack! Quack!"

Dick and Bob were on a hunting trip. At nightfall, Dick complained:

- We've been hunting all day. We've shot at five deer - and not hit one!

- OK. Let's miss two more and then head back to camp - said Bob.