During the Vietnam War, a hillbilly soldier shot about a dozen of the enemy during his first battle.
The Sergeant said:
- How'd you learn to shoot like that? Have you ever been in combat before?
- Well suh - drawled the boy - To be honest, this is my first public war.
How many military information officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ At the present point in time it is against policy and the best interests of military strategy to divulge information of such a statistical nature. Next question, please.
How many Pentagon procurement officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Look, for only $87 billion, we can put up this chain of fluorescent satellites that will illuminate the whole planet.
How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ 50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him.
How many Honor Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ 22, one to screw it in, 21 to shoot the bulb.
How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
→ YOU DON'T KNOW! YOU WEREN'T THERE, MAN!!! YOU'LL NEVER KNOW!!!!!
How many British navy Officers does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Only one, but it takes him seven weeks to get there.
The story goes that Air Force One was over the UK a few years ago and called up a USAF base:
- Requesting Radar.
- What is you position? - asked ATC
- You got radar you find us - Air Force One replied.
After a few minutes ATC announced:
- Air Force One we're changing frequency
- What frequency are you changing to? - asked Air Force One
- You've got 720 channels - you find us! - ATC replied.
Why do the commodes in Marine barracks have the cut-out type seats?
→ So that if the seat falls while they're drinking, it won't smack them in the back of the head
Why does the Navy put Marines on board ships?
→ Because sheep would be too obvious
