Best jokes

Young Bobby was being fitted for glasses, and his father, standing beside him, said, "Now, remember, son. Don't wear them when you're not looking at anything."

- Father: Don't you think our son gets his brains from me?

- Mother: Probably, dear. I still have all of mine.

- Can I go outside and watch the solar eclipse? - asked Rupert.

- Okay - replied his father.

- but don't stand too close.

- Son: Where are the Himalayas?

- Father: If you'd put things away, you'd know where to find them.

Tad looked up from the book on ancient history he was reading and asked his father:

- Pop, what's a millennium?

- Well - he muttered.

- I think it's something like a centennial, only it has more legs!

NEWS ITEM. Kidnappers grabbed a little boy and two days later sent him home with a ransom note. His parents immediately sent the kid back with the money.

When Ben hit his thumb with a hammer he let out a few choice words. Shocked by her son's outburst, his mother said:

- Don't you dare use that kind of language in here.

- William Shakespeare did - replied Ben.

- Well, you'd better stop going around with him - said Mom.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next Twenty-four years telling them to sit down and shut up!

What didn't Adam and Eve have that everyone else has?
→ Parents.

Why are parents boring?
→ Because they're groan-ups.