Best jokes

Did you hear that Princess Di was on the radio a couple of weeks ago?
→ Yep, and on the dashboard, and on the window, and on the hood....

Arnold Swartzeneger and Sylvester Stallone are making a movie about the lives of the great composers. Stallone says "I want to be Mozart." Swartzeneger says: "In that case... I'll be Bach."

What's O. J. Simpson's Internet address?
→ Slash, slash, backslash, slash, slash, escape.

What did Michael Jackson say when his cock slid in the little boys arse?
→ There is a great musician in you.

Why can't the government put Magic Johnson on a stamp?
→ Everyone would be afraid to lick it.

What's stiff and excites women?
→ Elvis Presley.

What's got 400 legs and no pubic hair?
→ The front row of a Hanson concert

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The man groaned but didn't budge. The usher became impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager." Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?" "Sam," the man moaned. "Where ya from, Sam?" With pain in his voice Sam replied "the balcony."

The McCartney kids are at the family ranch anxiously awaiting news of their mother. Paul emerges from his wife's bedroom. "Kid's......there's good news and bad news." "The bad news is your mother's strength and will to live has been sucked away by her awful disease and she died a few moments ago" "The good news is.... It's steak and chips for dinner!"

What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson's dreams every night??
→ Hansons.