Morris was passing a small courtyard and heard voices murmuring.
He went in and saw an altar with a large zero in the middle and a banner that said 'N I L'. White-robed people were kneeling before the altar chanting hymns to The Great Nullity, The Blessed Emptiness, and The Big Zero in the Sky. Morris turned to a white-robed observer beside him and wispered... "Is Nothing Sacred?"
Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a big-city church. "When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral," Joe began. "You mean the parking lot," interrupted Charlie, a more worldly fellow. "I walked up the trail to the door," Joe continued. "The sidewalk to the door," Charlie corrected him. "Inside the door, I was met by this dude," Joe went on. "That would be the usher," Charlie explained. "Well, the usher led me down the chute," Joe said. "You mean the aisle," Charlie said. "Then, he led me to a stall and told me to sit there," Joe continued. "Pew," Charlie retorted. "Yeah," recalled Joe. "That's what that pretty lady said when I sat down beside her."
At the first session of a conversion class the minister conducting the class asked, "What must we do before we can expect forgiveness from sin?" After a long silence, one of the men in attendance raised his hand and said: "Sin?"
Knowing that the minister was very fond of cherry brandy, one of the church elders offered to present him with a bottle on one consideration - that the pastor acknowledge receipt of the gift in the church paper. "Gladly," responded the good man. When the church magazine came out a few days later, the elder turned at once to the "appreciation" column. There he read: "The minister extends his thanks to Elder Brown for his gift of fruit and for the spirit in which it was given."
"How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?" by Woody Allen.
What do you call a man that marries another man?
→ A minister
There are three truths in life:
One Sunday, the pope REALLY wanted to play golf.
But he couldn't, since it was Sunday. But he figured, well, it's ok if i just play a little bit.
So he changed clothes and went out into the green.
Up in heaven an angel saw him and reported it to Jesus. However, Jesus didn't do anything when he told him. "Aren't you going to punish him?" he asked Jesus. "Yes, just wait." he replied.
Just then the pope hit a beautiful hole in one.
- Well, that's not a punishment! - the angel said in disgust.
"Who is he going to tell?"
A minister was asked by a politician:
- Name something the government can do to help the church.
The minister replied:
- Quit making one dollar bills.
What language do the Vatican Police speak?
→ Pig Latin!
