Best jokes

If twenty dogs run after one cat, what time is it?
→ Twenty after one.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your car?
→ Time to get a new car.

That boy is so dirty, the only time he washes his ears is when he eats watermelon.

Why are there so many Johnson in the phone book?
→ They all have phones.

- Now that we are engaged I hope you'll give me a ring.

- Of course. What's your phone number?

What kind of music do phones love to hear?
→ A symphony

What do you get if you cross a telephone with an iron?
→ A smooth operator!

How does a baboon make phone calls?
→ He just monkeys around on the line!

What do you call the sound a ghost makes when he calls you?
→ A phone moan.

A psychiatrist was testing the mentality of a patient.

"Do you ever hear voices without being able to tell who is speaking or where the voices are coming from?" asked the psychiatrist.

"As a matter of fact, I do," said the patient.

"And when does this happen?" asked the psychiatrist.

"Oh," said the patient, "when I answer the telephone."