Women Jokes — most viewed jokes

Why do little girls carry goldfish in their pockets?
→ To smell like big girls.

Now I understand what marketing is:You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You approach her and tell her: "I am very good in bed". That is Direct Marketing.

You are at a party with a group of friends and you see a very pretty girl. One of your friends approaches her and tells her: "That guy over there is very good in bed". That is Advertising.

You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You ask for her phone number. The following day you call her and tell her: "I am very good in bed". That is Telemarketing .

You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You recognize her, you approach her and refresh her memory by telling her: "Do you remember how good I am in bed?" That is Customer Relationship Management. You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You get up, fix your tie, pour her a drink, open the door for her, pick up her bag when it falls and you tell her: "I am very good in bed". That is Public Relations.

You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. She approaches you and tells you: "I heard you are very good in bed". That is BRANDING!!

What should you say if he asks you "Am I your first"?
→ "You might be - you look familiar"

What's the definition of a Jewish nyphomaniac?
→ One that screws when she's just had her hair done.

One Friday afternoon, two secretaries were hanging around the watercooler at the office. "Veronica, I just don't know what to do," Gloria said to her friend at work. "That good-looking Alex in accounting asked me out on a date for Saturday night. Should I go?"

"Oh, my God!" her friend exclaimed. "He'll wine you, dine you, and then use any ruse to get you up to his apartment. Then he'll rip off your dress and you'll have fantastic s*x!"

"What should I do?" asked Gloria.

Her friend quickly replied, "Wear an old dress."

What do West Virginians call a pretty woman?
→ A tourist.

Lesbians can also take Viagra. They don't have to swalow it, they just let it melt in their tongues.

How do you know if your secretary's having a bad day?
→ Her tampon is behind her ear and she can't find her pencil

The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like Chinese food so much. The study revealed that this is due to the fact that WonTon spelled backwards is Not Now.

Did you hear about the woman who only had two chances to get pregnant?
→ She blew them both...