Sport Jokes — most viewed jokes

The Fire brigade phones George Graham in the early hours of Sunday morning.

"Mr Graham sir, White Hart Lane is on fire!"

"The cups man! Save the cups!" cries George.

"Uh, the fire hasn't spread to the canteen yet, sir."

- Teacher: What did the Indians bring to the first Thanksgiving?

- Student: Baseballs.

- Teacher: Baseballs?

- Student: Yeah, they were Cleveland Indians!

Bob is sitting on the ice all day fishing with no luck, not even a nibble. Cold and tired he is about to leave, when a guy walks up cuts a hole in the ice beside him, and starts pulling out fish as fast a he can drop his hook in the water.
Bob can't believe it, he yells over " whats your secret?"

"woogatkakeptewrwm" he answers back.

"what did you say?" replies Bob.

The man spits a large ball of worms on the ice and says to Bob, " you have to keep your worms warm".

A Packer fan was enjoying himself at the game in a packed Lambeau Field, until he noticed an empty seat down in front. He went down and asked the guy next to it if he knew whose seat it was. The guy said, "Yes, that's my wife's seat. We have never missed a game since the Lombardi days, but now my wife is dead." The fan offered his sympathy and said it was really too bad he couldn't find some relative to give the ticket to so they could enjoy the game together... "Oh no," the guy said, "they're all at the funeral."

Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it.

The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step. Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat.

Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin.

The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another!"

It was well known that a certain lake was very poor for fishing up north, but a game warden happened to notice that one guy kept coming home with his limit of fish on several occations. He asked the guy:
"How is it that you are catching fish out of that lake when no one else can?" The guy replied: "Well I am going back up there tommorow, why don't you come along?" And, so the warden did. They were in the boat when the fisherman reached over and lit a stick of dynamite and then tossed it overboard. BOOM!!! There were fish floating to the surface all over! The game warden freaked out, and said: "You can't do that! That's illeagal!" The fisherman reached over and lit another stick and said: "Are you going to fish, or talk?"

Why does the wind blow from the north in Indiana?
→ Kentucky sucks.

How many Kentucky basketball fans does it take to roof a house?
→ Three, if you slice them really thin.

In Florida there was a swimming contest. The contestants were a brunette-Mindy, a redhead-Cindy, and a blonde-Sandy. The second race was the Breast Stroke...the order of finish was: The brunette came in first, the redhead second,... "but wait", where was the blonde??? She was still racing!

When she got to the finish line...she said "THEY CHEATED!!"

The Judge said "how??"

The dumb blonde screamed...

"THEY USED THEIR ARMS!"

Sven and Olie died and went to Hell. After awhile, the Devil came by to see how his new guests were doing. To his amazement, he found Sven and Olie were still wearing their winter gear and seemed to be quite comfortable. The Devil asked why they weren't hot.

Olie replied, "We come from Minnesota where it's always cold. This is feeling pretty good to us." This upset the Devil, so he turned up the thermostat. Awhile later the Devil looked in again on Sven and Olie. To his surprise he found they were still wearing their winter gear. The Devil questioned them on it again. "You have to remember that we are from Minnesota and it's very, very cold there. This is feeling nice to us."

The Devil was even madder at this, so he turned the thermostat all the way up to maximum temperature. The Devil waited some time and then went back to Sven and Olie. This time he found they had only unzipped their coats, but still had all their winter clothes on. The Devil couldn't understand what was going on. The punishment down here was supposed to be the unbearable heat. It wasn't working on these two. He had to ask again what the deal was. Sven replied, "We are Minnesotans and we just got over a freezing winter. This is really great for Olie and Me."

A light flickered in the Devil's mind. He went to the thermostat and turned it off. He thought if the heat wasn't a punishment, maybe he'd give them some freezing temperatures. A little while later the Devil came back to check in on Sven and Olie only to find them cheering and giving each other high fives, happier than ever! The Devil questioned them on their actions and Sven said happily, "Back home they always said, the Vikings will win the Super Bowl when Hell freezes over!!!"