Random joke from this category
What are the five reasons for not wanting to be an egg?
The first engineer calls out to the other:
- Hey--Nice bike! Where did you get it?
- Well - replies the other.
- I was walking to class the other day when this pretty, young coed rides up on this bike. She jumps off, takes off all of her clothes, and says 'you can have ANYTHING you want!'
- Good choice - says the first guy.
- her clothes wouldn't have fit you anyway.
If I have a rooster and you have a donkey and your donkey bites off my roosters feet, what do you have?
→ Two feet of my cock in your ass.
A woman feared that her husband was losing interest in her sexually. She went out and bought some very sexy lingerie, complete with crotchless panties. She posed herself in bed and awaited his arrival.
When he came into the bedroom, she threw the sheets back, spread her legs, and said:
- Welcome home honey. Do you want some of this?
With a horrified look on his face, the husband replied:
- Hell No! Look what it did to your underwear!
What happens when a Jew with an erection walks into a wall?
→ He breaks his nose.
Did you hear the one about the guy who had five penises?
→ He had a pair of underpants that fitted him like a glove.....
What's the best form of birth control after 50?
→ Nudity
The seven kinds of passionate women
This male prostitute contracted leprosy.
He did okay for a while, but then his business dropped off.
A man goes into a bar with his pet octopus and says:
- I'll bet $50 that no one here has a musical instrument that this octopus CAN'T play
The people in the bar look around, and someone fetches out an old guitar. The octopus has a look, picks it up, tunes the string, and starts playing the guitar.
The octopus' owner pockets the $50 Next, a guy comes up with a trumpet. The octopus takes the horn, loosens up the keys, licks it's lips and starts playing a jazz solo. The guy pockets yet another $50. The bar owner has been watching all of this and disappears to the back. He comes back a few moments later with a set of bagpipes under his arm. He puts them on the bar and says to the guy and his octopus:
- Now, if your octopus can play THAT, I'll give you $100.
The octopus takes a long hard look at the bagpipes, lifts it up, turns it over, has yet another look from a different angle. Puzzled, the octopus' owner comes over and says:
- What are you waitin for? Hurry up and play that damn thing!
The octopus says:
- Play it? Hell if I can work out how to get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna screw it!!
