Political Jokes — most viewed jokes

What's the difference between a McDonalds Hamburger and Bill Clinton?
→ Some people in Arkansas haven't had a McDonald's hamburger!

Why does Clinton play the saxophone?
→ 'Cause he can no longer play with his 'hore-monica!

There are a lot of folks that can't understand how we ran out of oil here in the USA.

Well, here's the answer: It's simple. nobody bothered to check the oil.

Didn't know we were getting low. And of course the reason for that is geographical.

All the oil is in Alaska, Texas, and Oklahoma, and all the dipsticks are in Washington, D.C.

Democrats announced today they are changing their emblem from a donkey to a condom because it more clearly reflects their party's political stance. A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, discourages cooperation, protects a bunch of dicks and gives a sense of security while screwing others.

A reporter cornered George W. Bush at a press conference:

"Many say the only reason why you would be elected for President is due to the enormous power and influence of your father."

"That notion is ridiculous!" mocked George Jr. "It doesn't matter how powerful the man is. He can only vote once!"

• EARTH FIRST! We'll strip mine the other planets later.
• If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.
• No, I don't have a license to kill; it's just a learners permit.
• Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect.
• Sure you can trust the government! Just ask an Indian!
• Taxation WITH representation Ain't so hot, either!
• White water... It's all over when the First Lady sings.
• Who were the beta testers for Preparations A through G?

What is Bill Clinton's favorite web browser?
→ Microsoft Intern Exploiter

The President and Mrs. Clinton are in the front row at a Yankee's game. The row behind them is filed with Secret Service agents. One of them leans over and wispers something into the Presidents's ear.

Mr. Clinton pauses then grabs Hilary by the scuff of the neck and heaves her over the railing! She falls 10 feet to the dugout, kicking and screaming obcenities.

The President shakes hands with those near him, getting "high fives". The Secret Service Agent leans over again and whispers, "Mr. President, I said, - "They want you to throw out the "FIRST PITCH!"

Why do liberals travel in threes?
→ One to read, one to write and the other one to keep an eye on both intellectuals.

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened.

Then he decided to write GOD a letter requesting the $100.

When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to GOD USA, they decided to send it to President Bush.

The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill.

President Bush thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank you note to GOD, which read:

Dear GOD,
Thank you very much for sending the money, however, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington D.C. and, as usual, those idiots deducted $95.00!