Political Jokes — most viewed jokes

Top ten ways the Internet could get worse

10. Rigorous user screening process abolished by America On-Line.
11. "MAKE MONEY FAST" posts protected by 1st amendment, declare internet lawyers Canter & Siegel.
12. Home shopping "network".
13. Netrek corporate sponsorships. Out: Orion, Pollux, Klingus. In: Planet Bud, Toyota Prime, Intelworld.
14. Sun internet servers replaced with pentiums.
15. Dan Quayle appointed head of "bandwidth expansion tiger team".
16. Free netcom account with purchase of big mac.
17. Gameboy web browsers.
18. Tipper Gore cancelbot unleashed onto the net.

AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY THE INTERNET CAN GET WORSE:

1. Two words: "Microsoft Network"

What is the difference between Dan Quayle, Bill Clinton and Jane Fonda?
→ Jane Fonda went to Vietnam.

At a U.N. meeting the American ambassador turned to the Japanese ambassador and whispered, "When was your last election?" The Japanese ambassador turned bright red and whispered back, "before bleakfast."

How does Bill Clinton say "I'm about to hurt you"?
→ "Trust me."

Only in America... do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

How did Bill and Hillary Clinton first meet?
→ They were both dating the same girl in high school.

The Australian liberal party announced today that they are changing their emblem to a condom because it more clearly reflects their party's political stance: A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, discourages co-operation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives one a sense of security while screwing others.

A minister was asked by a politician, "Name something the government can do to help the church."

The minister replied, "Quit making one dollar bills."

- Person: Are you a democrat or a republican?

- Blonde: Oh, I'm an American.

Clinton was asked who was a better lover: Monica Lewinsky or Paula Jones.

His response: Paula was good, but no cigar.