Political Jokes — most viewed jokes

Why is the government like a prostitute?
→ Your always getting screwed and you have to pay for it!

One day a boy and his father were at the dining room table working on the boy's Social Studies homework, the chapter about government. The boy turns to his father and asks, "Dad, how many people work in the U.S. government?"

The father replies without hesitating, "Oh, about ten percent."

We, the people of Florida, are holding this election hostage.

When you, the people of the U.S., promise to stop sending us your old people, we will release your election.

A hundred prostitutes in Washington D.C. were asked if they would ever sleep with President Clinton. 60% said, 'Never again!'

The first Jewish woman President is elected.

She calls her Mother:

- Mama, I've won the elections, you've got to come to the swearing-in ceremony.

- I don't know, what would I wear?

- Don't worry, I'll send you a dressmaker

- But I only eat kosher food

- Mama, I am going to be the president, I can get you kosher food

- But how will I get there?

- I'll send a limo, just come mama

- Ok, Ok, if it makes you happy.

The great day comes and Mama is seated between the Supreme Court Justices and the Future Cabinet members, she nudges the gentleman on her right. "You see that girl, the one with her hand on the Bible?... Her brother's a doctor!"

In light of the latest allegations against President Clinton, Woodward and Bernstein of Watergate fame are in negotiations with publishers to write a new book about the scandal. Working title: "All the President's Women."

Definition: Politics
Poli (Poly): Many....
Tic(k)s: Blood sucking creatures

What has four asses?
→ Eight half assed politicians.

The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone rang. He listened intently, and after a moment his face brightened. When he hung up, he immediately phoned his mother to tell her the good news.

- Ma, the results are in. I won the election!

- Honestly?

The politician's smiled faded.

- Aw hell, ma, why bring that up at a time like this?

What did Bob Dole reply when asked if he preferred boxers or briefs?
→ "Depends."