Mom/Dad Jokes — most viewed jokes

- Mother: How do you like your new teacher?

- Son: I don't. She told me to sit up the front for the present and then she didn't give me one!

- Teacher: This note from your father looks like your handwriting?

- Pupil: Well, yes, he borrowed my pen!

A man answers the phone and has the following conversation:
"Yes, mother, I've had a hard day. Gladys has been most difficult - I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard.
Well, you know how she is.
"Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that she was a vile creature who would make my life miserable and you begged me not to marry her.
"You were perfectly right.
"You want to speak with her? All right." He looks up from the telephone and calls to his wife in the next room:

"Gladys, your mother wants to talk to you!"

- Pupil (on phone): My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today.

- School Secretary: Who is this?

- Pupil: This is my father speaking!

- Mother: Why are you home from school so early?

- Son: I was the only one who could answer a question.

- Mother: Oh, really? What was the question?

- Son: Who threw the eraser at the principal?

Jackie stood quietly as her father examined her report card.
"What is this 45 in math?" asked her father.
"I think that's the size of the class," she said quickly!

- Father: How were the exam questions?

- Son: Easy

- Father: Then why look so unhappy?

- Son: The questions didn't give me any trouble, just the answers!

- Little Monster: I hate my teacher.

- Mother Monster: Well just eat your salad up then dear!

- Dad, did you manage to fix my toy?

- No, it's not broken, the battery's flat.

- Well, what shape should it be?

Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain or, having children will turn you into your parents.