Men Jokes — most viewed jokes

Four words guaranted to destroy a man's ego: "Is it in yet?"

Single women claim that all the good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands.

This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man.

If you've got a green ball in your left hand, and a green ball in your right hand, what do you have?
→ Kermit the Frog's undivided attention.

An English professor wrote the words, "woman without her man is a savage" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.

The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is a savage."

The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is a savage."

Two confirmed bachelors sat talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. "I got a cookbook once," said the first, "but I could never do anything with it."

"Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?" asked the second.

"You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way - 'Take a clean dish and....'"

There are three ways a man wears his hair - parted - unparted or departed

I had a dream you were a tire last night. I woke up and you were bald.

How do you open a can of beer?
→ That's not the point - it should be open when she gives it to you!

How do some men avoid making a wrong career move?
→ They never get a job!

One Saturday afternoon, a man was sitting in his lawn chair drinking beer and watching his wife mow the lawn. A neighbor lady was so outraged at this, she came over and shouted at the man, "You should be hung!" To which he calmly replied, "I am. That's why she cuts the grass!"