Language Jokes — most viewed jokes

What do you call two line dancers doing the dance Shoot the Rooster?
→ A Pair of Shoot (parachute)

What's the difference between a very old, shaggy Yeti and a dead bee?
→ One's a seedy beast and the other's a deceased bee.

Two Boll Weevils grew up in South Carolina, one went to Hollywood and became a famous actor while the other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much.

The second one, naturally, became known as the "lesser of two weevils."

Who did the dyslexic satanist worship?
→ Santa.

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal' while the other goes to a family in Spain and is named 'Juan'. Years later Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds...

"But they are twins and if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal."

- Fred: You've got a Roman nose.

- Harry: Like Julius Caesar?

- Fred: No, it's roamin' all over your face.

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.

Include your Children when Baking Cookies
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
Farmer Bill Dies in House
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus?

- Knock knock.

- Who's there?

- Ketchup.

- Ketchup who?

- Catch up with me and I'll tell you!

What did the hail storm say to the roof?
→ Hang onto your shingles, this will be no ordinary sprinkles

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