Language Jokes — most viewed jokes

There was this Asian lady married to an American gentleman and they lived in Honolulu. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. The butcher got the message and the lady went home with pork legs.

The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn't know how to say, and so she unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breast. The lady got what she wanted.

The 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store... What were you thinking? Helloooooooooo, her husband speaks English!!

- Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence starting with "I".

- Little Johnny: I is...

- Teacher: No, Little Johnny. Always say "I am."

- Little Johnny: All right. "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

When an ape visits his tailor, what kind of a suit does he order?
→ A zoo-t suit!

How to Feed Elephants by P. Nutts

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men saying the following; "Emma come first. Denna I come. Two asses, they come together. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Denna I come once-a more."

"You fowl-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man, "Imma justa tellun my friend howa to spella Mississippi."

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

There were two cats that enjoyed running together. The first cat was english, called One-two-three.

The other was french and called Un-deux-trois. One day when they were running they came to a huge river. The cats took a large run up and leapt as far as they could.

Which cat drowned?
→ Un-deux-trois cat sank
(un deux trois quatre cinq)

- First boy: Are you having a party for your birthday?

- Second boy: No, I'm having a witch do.

- First boy: What's a witch do?

- Second boy: She flies around on a broomstick casting spells.

What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?
→ Firetruck

Definition: Politics
Poli (Poly): Many....
Tic(k)s: Blood sucking creatures