Language Jokes — most viewed jokes

What do you get if you cross a bunch of flowers with a burglar?
→ Robbery with violets!

Why would someone in jail want to catch the measles?
→ So he could break out.

- Detective: Why did you dump those vegetables on my desk?

- Criminal: You said it was time to spill the beans.

What did the hat say to the necktie?
→ You go AHEAD I'll HANG AROUND!

How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
→ Fleece Navidad!

What did the burglar say to the lady who caught him stealing her silver?
→ I'm at your service, ma'am.

What stars go to jail?
→ Shooting stars.

If Ted Kennedy, Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton all had a spelling contest, which one would win?
→ Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that harass is one word.

What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
→ The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.

What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month?
→ The letter "D"!