Festival Jokes — most viewed jokes

- I got my wife a VCP for her birthday

- Don't you mean a VCR?

- No, a VCP . . . Very Cheap Present!

Did you hear the one about the phoney Cupid?
→ He was totally bow-gus!

Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?
→ Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!

What did the parrot say on Independence Day?
→ Polly wants a firecracker!

- Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.

- Next time, take off the candles.

Why did you hit your birthday cake with a hammer?
→ Because you said it was pound cake!

Dad bought Mum a bone-china tea set for her birthday.

- How lovely!

- Yes, but he only did it so as not to have to do the washing-up. Mum's too frightened he'll break it!

Did you hear about the time Eddy's sister tried to make a birthday cake?
→ The candles melted in the oven.

What did one candle say to the other?
→ "Don't birthdays burn you up?"

Chicken to turkey: "Only Thanksgiving and Christmas??? You're lucky, with us it's any Sunday."