Ethnic — most viewed jokes

How does a Russian Aeroflot pilot navigate?
→ By reading street signs.

Why did the Italian boy want to grow a mustache?
→ So he could look like his mama.

Jewish telegram: "Begin worrying. Details to follow."

Two Jewish businessmen meet in the street.

- Well, Morrie, how's your warehouse business going?

- Oy vey, Abraham, it's not going so good, we had a flood last week.

- So, Morrie, how do you start a flood?

Recently, Germany conducted some scientific exploration involving their best scientists. Core drilling samples of earth were taken to a depth of 50m and during the core examinations, small pieces of copper were discovered. After running many arduous tests on these samples, the German government announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nationwide telephone network.

Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. So they ordered their own scientists to take their core samples at a depth of 100m. From these samples, they found small pieces of glass and soon announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had a nationwide optical fibre network.

Irish scientists were outraged. So immediately after this announcement, they ordered their scientist to take samples at a depth of 200m but found absolutely nothing. They concluded that the ancient Irish 55,000 years ago were an even more advanced civilisation, as they already had a mobile telephone network in place.

A family was visiting an Indian reservation when they happen upon an old tribesman laying face down in the middle of the road with his ear pressed firmly against the blacktop.

The father of the family asked the old tribesman what he was doing.

The tribesman began to speak..."woman, late thirties, three kids, one barking dog in late model, Four door station wagon, traveling at 65 m.p.h."

"That's amazing," exclaimed the father.

"You can tell all of that by just listening to the ground?"

"No," said the old tribesman. "They just ran over me five minutes ago!"

How do you babysit black kids?
→ Wet their lips and stick them to the wall!

There is a big controversy these days concerning when life begins. In Jewish tradition the fetus is not considered a viable human being until after graduation from medical or law school.

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?
→ One less drunk!

Why are there so many Italian men in New York named Tony?
→ When they came over to this country, they had "To NY" stamped on their foreheads.

A Russian, a Saudi, a North Korean and an American are walking down the street. A pollster stops them and asks, "Excuse me, what is your opinion of the meat shortage?"
The Saudi replies, "Excuse me, what's a 'shortage'?"
The Russian replies, "Excuse me, what's meat?"
The North Korean replies, "Excuse me, what's an opinion?"
Finally, the American replies, "What's 'Excuse me?'"

What do New Zealanders call a sheep in their back yard?
→ A ride on lawn-mower.

Why the British are superior to Americans:

1. They speak English.
2. When they host a world championship, they invite other countries.
3. Visitors to the head of state are only expected to go down on one knee.

One day, a Newfoundlander was rowing his boat back home after catching some fish singing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat". Meanwhile, some aliens decided to test his intelligence.

They took out 1/4 of his brain and still he sang, "Row, Row, Row Your Boat". They took out another 1/4 of his brain, and still he sang "Row, Row, Row Your Boat".

They finally took all of his brains out. The Newfoundlander shook a bit, then started singing "Frere Jacques, Frere Jacques..."

HEAVEN Vs. HELL
Heaven: An American salary. A British home. Chinese food. A Japanese wife.
Hell: A Chinese salary. A Japanese home. British food. An American wife.

A guy traveling through the prairies of the USA stopped at a small town and went to a bar. He stood at the end of the bar, ordered a drink, and lit up a cigar.

As he sipped down his drink, he stood there quietly blowing smoke rings. After he blew nine or ten smoke rings into the air, an angry native Indian stomped up to him and said, "One more remark like that and I'll whip your butt!"

Short summary of every Jewish Holiday:
They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!

Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus?
→ He comes down the chimney, wakes up the children and says, "Hey kids, do you want to buy some toys?"

Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the same day in Iraq?
→ They don't want to wear out the camel.