Ethnic — most viewed jokes

The madam opened the brothel door to see an elderly Jewish man. His clothes were all disheveled and he looked needy.

"Can I help you?" the madam asked. "I want Natalie," the old man replied.

"Sir, Natalie is one of our most expensive ladies, perhaps someone else..." "No, I must see Natalie."

Just then Natalie appeared and announced to the old man that she charges $1,000 per visit. The man never blinked and reached into his pocket and handed her ten $100 bills. The two went up to a room for an hour whereupon the man calmly left.

The next night he appeared again demanding Natalie. Natalie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row and that there were no discounts... it was still $1,000.

Again the old man took out the money, the two went up to the room and he calmly left an hour later. When he showed up the third consecutive night, no one could believe it.

Again he handed Natalie the money and up to the room they went. At the end of the hour Natalie questioned the old man: "No one has ever used my services three nights in a row... where are you from?"

The old man replied, "I am from Minsk." "Really?" replied Natalie, "I have a sister who lives there." "Yes; I know," said the old man. "She gave me $3,000 to give to you."

What's the motto of the Polish Solidarity Union?
→ Every man for himself.

A tourist, visiting a small town in Israel, came upon a statue dedicated to "The Unknown Soldier". At the base of the statue, a sign was displayed:
"Here lies Seymour Ruthenberg".
The tourist inquired of one of the locals how was it possible an unknown had a name.
The resident replied, "As a soldier, that Seymour was pretty much unknown, but as an accountant-Oy! He was something."

What happens when you have:

• 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
• 2 French men and 1 French woman
• 2 German men and 1 German woman
• 2 Greek man and 1 Greek woman
• 2 English men and 1 English woman
• 2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman
• 2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman
• 2 American men and 1 American woman
• 2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman

One month later on these absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:

One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

The 2 French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage ? trois.

The 2 German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman.

The 2 Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.

The 2 English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.

The Bulgarian men took a long look at the endless ocean and one look at the Bulgarian woman and they started swimming.

The 2 American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide, while the American woman keeps on bitching about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, about the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her much nicer and how her relationship with her mother is improving. But at least the taxes are low and it is not raining.

The 2 Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are waiting for instructions.

The Irish began by dividing the island into North and South and by setting up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whiskey, but they are satisfied in that at least the English are not getting any!

A journalist had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War, and she noted then that women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands.

She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives.

She approached one of the women for an explanation. "This is marvelous," said the journalist. "What enabled women here to achieve this reversal of roles?"

Replied the Kuwaiti woman: "Land mines"

A couple of hunters from Prague are out hunting, and an emormous bear runs up and in a single gulp devours one of the hunters.
Miraculously, the swallowed hunter remained alive, trapped in the belly of the grizzly.
The other hunter runs back to town and organizes a rescue party which heads back to the woods armed with torches, guns, spears, etc.

Soon they spot two bears on the horizon and everybody starts shooting at the bear that's closest to them.

"No, not that one," shouts the surviving hunter, "That's the female."

"The Czech is in the male."

How do you stop a taliban tank?
→ Shoot the Guy Pushing it

How many Italians does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Two. One to change it and one to sprinkle it with Parmesan.

Why does the new Polish Navy have glass bottomed boats?
→ So they can see the old Polish Navy!

Benign
→ What you be after you be eight.

Artery
→ The study of paintings.

Bacteria
→ Back door to cafeteria.

Barium
→ What doctors do when patients die.

Cesarean Section
→ A neighborhood in Rome.

Catscan
→ Searching for kitty.

Cauterize
→ Made eye contact with her.

Colic
→ A sheep dog.

Coma
→ A punctuation mark.

D & C
→ Where Washington is.

Dilate
→ To live long.

Enema
→ Not a friend.

Fester
→ Quicker than someone else.

Fibula
→ A small lie.

Genital
→ Non-Jewish person.

G.I. Series
→ World Series of military baseball.

Hangnail
→ What you hang your coat on.

Impotent
→ Distinguished, well known.

Labor Pain
→ Getting hurt at work.

Medical Staff
→ A Doctor's cane.

Morbid
→ A higher offer than I bid.

Nitrates
→ Cheaper than day rates.

Node
→ Was aware of

Outpatient
→ A person who has fainted.

Pap Smear
→ A fatherhood test.

Pelvis
→ Second cousin to Elvis.

Post Operative
→ A letter carrier.

Recovery Room
→ Place to do upholstery.

Rectum
→ Darn near killed him.

Secretion
→ Hiding something.

Seizure
→ Roman emperor.

Tablet
→ A small table.

Terminal Illness
→ Getting sick at the Bus Station

Tumor
→ More than one.

Urine
→ Opposite of you're out.

Varicose
→ Near by/close by.

Vein
→ Conceited.