Random joke from this category
After a caller gave a technician her PC's serial number, he scanned a database of registered users and responded, "I see you have an Aptiva" desktop unit. Before he could say another word, the caller shrieked and said she'd be right back. When the customer returned, the technician asked if she was all right.
The caller responded: "Had I realized you could see me, I never would have telephoned in my bathrobe."
- Do you want some help using the Internet, son?
- No thanks, Dad, I can muck it up all by myself.
There is a new Barbie doll on the market -
Cyberpunk Barbie ...includes 'trodes and implants
- Customer: I've been doing risk analysis by hand for five years, and we finally got your program so we could do it automatically -- but there's a bug in it. The answers come out differently each time.
- Tech Support: Sir, are you aware that our program uses Monte-Carlo analysis?
- Customer: Of course I am. That's why I bought it.
- Tech Support: Sir, do you know what Monte-Carlo analysis does?
- Customer: Don't get rude with me, of course I do.
- Tech Support: Put briefly, sir, it runs through your project several times, throwing random delays in, and at the end it averages out the results.
- Customer: I know all that -- what I want to know is why it keeps giving me different answers every time I run it.
A technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into his typewriter to type the labels.
The Three Laws of Secure Computing
- Customer: Wait, that password looks really gray. I'm going to type it in again.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
An exasperated caller to Tech Support couldn't get her new computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens."
The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse.
A customer needed help setting up a new program, so the technician suggested he go to the local Egghead.
"Yeah, I got me a couple of friends," the man said. When told Egghead was a software store, the man said, "Oh, I thought you meant for me to find a couple of geeks."
