Business Jokes — most viewed jokes

Another friend of mine is a very successful businessman. He started with five thousand pounds - now he owes fifty-five million.

What do you get when you cross a Jehova's witness with a business man?
→ A door to door salesman!

- Patient: It must be tough spending all day with your hands in someone's mouth.

- Dentist: I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet.

A Japanese guy is at Los Angeles International Airport, waiting for his flight back home to Japan. While he's waiting, he goes to the currency exchange counter to change his remaining dollars. He counts his money at the counter.

"Wait a minute," he says to the clerk, "When I came here I got more dollars for my yen. What's going on here?"

"Fluctuations," says the clerk.

The Japanese man stiffens. "Well! Fluck you Americans, too!"

An Arthur Anderson partner comes back to his office and says to his manager, "Did you get my message where I said, 'Ship the Enron documents to the Feds'?"

The manager goes white. "Oh My God! I thought you said rip the Enron documents to shreds."

What place of business helps dogs who have lost their tails?
→ A retail store.

Why did the bank drive-up window teller have tire tread marks across the back of his grey suit?
→ From crawling across the street when the sign said: "Don't Walk."

My husband's business is rather up-and-down - he makes yo-yos.

A man went in to the bank and asked to see the man who arranged the loans.

'I'm sorry, sir,' said a cashier, 'the loan arranger is out to lunch.'

'Can I speak to Tonto, then?' asked the man.

Patient to Dentist: "How much to get my teeth straightened?"
"Twenty thousand bucks" Patient heads for the door.
Dentist to patient: "Where are you going?"
"To a plastic surgeon to get my mouth bent."