Business Jokes — most viewed jokes

Two Jewish businessmen meet in the street.

- Oy, Abraham, I'm sorry to hear about that fire at your warehouse.

- Ssh! It's not till next week.

How do you call a member of the financial staff of the faculty of Biology?
→ A Buy-ologist.

What did the man say when he got a big phone bill?
→ "Who said talk is cheap?"

Insurance agent to would-be client: "Don't let me frighten you into a hasty decision. Sleep on it tonite. If you wake in the morning, give me a call then and let me know."

A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," said the man. "To show you how much we care for you, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations."

The son-in-law interrupted, "I hate factories. I can't stand the noise."

"I see," replied the father-in-law. "Well, then you'll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations."

"I hate office work," said the son-on-law. "I can't stand being stuck behind a desk all day."

"Wait a minute," said the father-in-law. "I just make you half-owner of a moneymaking organization, but you don't like factories and won't work in a office. What am I going to do with you?"

"Easy," said the young man. "Buy me out."

Laws of Accounting

1. Trial balances don't
2. Bank reconciliations never do
3. Working Capital does not
4. Return on Investments never will

How does Ebenezer Scrooge make phone calls?
→ Collect!

- William: May I have some money for the man crying outside?

- Mum: What crying man?

- William: The one that's crying, 'Ice cream! Ice Cream!'

A neatly dressed salesman stopped a man in the street and asked, "Sir, would you like to buy a a bottle of this mouthwash for $200.00?"

Aghast, the man said, "are you NUTS?, that's robbery!"

The salesman seemed hurt and then tries again, "Sir, since you are a bit irate, I'll sell it to you for 1/2 price at $100.00?"

Again, the man replies bluntly - "you must be crazy pal, now go away!"

The salesman then reaches into his briefcase and pulls out 2 brownies and begins munching away on one of them. He tells the irate guy, "Sir, please share one of my brownies since I have annoyed you so much."

Unwrapping the brownie, the guy takes a bite; suddenly, the guys spits it out and says: "HEY," he snarled, "this brownie tastes like crap!!!"

"It is," replied the salesman. "Wanna buy some mouthwash?"

After years of scrimping and saving, a husband told his wife the good news:

"Honey, we've finally got enough money to buy what we started saving for in 1979."

"You mean a brand-new Cadillac?" she asked eagerly.

"No," said the husband, "a 1979 Cadillac."