Random joke from this category
Two secretaries were talking about their work.
- I hate filing, said one. No matter how careful I am, I can never find the papers I'm looking for. I forget where I have filed them.
- I used to have that problem too, but no more, her blonde friend said. Now I make 26 copies of everything I type and file one under each letter of the alphabet. That way, I can't miss it!
There once was this blonde riding a horse. After a while it began to speed up. She was hanging on by the tail and cut her forehead open. After a long struggle, she was able to climb back onto the horse. She then fell off the side and got her foot caught. The horse was now dragging her. She finally got back on the horse with a broken ankle, bruises all over, and she was bleeding from three different spots. Finally, the horse came to a complete stop. Thank goodness that the manager of the K-mart came out and shut the machine off.
What do you call a bunch of blondes in a basement?
→ A whine cellar
A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. She responded, "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
How do you drown a blonde?
→ Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool!
There was a competition between a team of blondes and a team of brunettes to see who could catch the most fish icefishing. Once the contest started, it was clear that the brunettes were going to win -- they kept pulling out fish after fish. Soon, the blondes got worried and sent over one of their team to see what the brunettes were doing differently. A few minutes later, the blonde comes running back. "A hole! You need to put a hole in the ice!"
Inventions by Blondes...1. The water-proof towel2. Glow in the dark sunglasses3. Solar powered flashlights 4. Submarine screen doors 5. A book on how to read 6. Inflatable dart boards 7. A dictionary index 8. Mechanical Pencil sharpeners 9. Powdered water 10. Pedal-powered wheel chairs 11. Waterproof tea bags 12. Watermelon seed sorter13. Zero proof alcohol 14. Reuseable ice cubes 15. See-through toilet tissue16. Skinless bananas 17. Do-it-yourself road map 18. Turnip ice cream 19. Toe implants 20. An all white flag21. Rolls Royce pickup truck 22. Helicopter Ejector Seat
Did you hear about the conceited blonde?
→ She screams her own name when she comes.
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!"
The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!"
A blonde and a brunette are sky-diving. The brunette jumps out of the plane and pulls the cord - nothing happens. She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing. The blonde jumps out of the plane and yells "Oh! So you wanna race, huh?"
