At Work — most viewed jokes

What kind of suit does a bee wear to work?
→ A buzzness suit!

After being laid off from five different jobs in four months, Arnold was hired by a warehouse. One day he lost control of a forklift and drove it off the loading dock. Surveying the damage, the owner shook his head and said he'd have to withhold ten percent of Arnold's wages to pay for the repairs.

"How much will it cost?" asked Arnold.

"About $4,500," said the owner.

"What a relief!" exclaimed Arnold. "I've finally got job security!"

- Reporter: To what do you attribute your old age?

- Old Man: To the fact that I was born in 1890.

Did you hear about the Brooklyn bubblebrain who was two hours late for work because the escalator got stuck?

- My barber is a specialist in road map shaves.

- How come?

- When he's finished, your face is full of short cuts.

Boss: "I've decided to use humor in the office. Experts say humor eases tension, which is important in times when the work force is being trimmed. Knock knock."

- Employee: "Who's there?"

- Boss: "Not you anymore."

How many over eager PA's does it take to screw in a li...
→ Done!

After interviewing a particularly short-spoken job candidate, I described the person to my boss as rather monosyllabic.
My boss said, "Really? Where is Monosyllabia?"
Thinking that he was just kidding, I played along and said that it was just south of Elbonia. He replied, "Oh, you mean over by Croatia?"

What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
→ Proof reading.

An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" he wrote, "No." The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the previous question, was "Why?" The applicant answered it anyway: "Never got caught."