Most viewed jokes

Why did the banana go out with the prune?
→ Because he couldn't find a date.

How did the basketball court get wet?
→ The players dribbled all over it!

Two shoe salespeople were sent to Africa to open up new markets. Three days after arriving, one salesperson called the office and said:

- I'm returning on the next flight. Can't sell shoes here. Everybody goes barefoot.

At the same time the other salesperson sent an email to the factory, telling:

- The prospects are unlimited. Nobody wears shoes here!

- All our pigs are learning karate.

- Oh, I don't believe that

- No? Well, just watch out for their chops.

Why did the toad cross the road?
→ TO Show his girlfriend he has GUTS!

Ok, so a man walks into a bar in Denver and goes to the bartender:

- Give me ANYTHING BUT Coors!!

And the bartender is like:

- Dude, this is Colorado, we ONLY sell Coors here!

And the man is like:

- But I have to drink something OTHER than Coors!! See, last night I drank a case of Coors, and I blew chunks!!

And the bartender says:

- Man, anyone who drank a case of ANY BEER would blow chunks!!

And the man replies:

- No, you don't understand, Chunks is my dog!

And then there was the boxing referee who used to work for NASA; everytime a fighter would go down, he'd start counting "10, 9, 8...."

A Polish man was walking down the street, carrying a brown paper bag. He ran into one of his friends, who asked:

- Hey! What do you have in the bag?

The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag.

His friend says:

- Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one.

The man says:

- I'll tell you what. If you tell me how many fish I have in this bag, I'll give you both of them.

There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX.

This is not believed to be a coincidence.

- Waiter, is there soup on the menu?

- No, madam I wiped it off!