Most viewed jokes

Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step. Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin. The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another!"

At a family gathering, husband began teasing his wife about how she always get her way. She said to her husband:

- Honey, when I get my way, that's a compromise.

- What is it when I get my way? - he was quick to ask. She replied:

- That's a miracle!

How do you get milk from a witch's cat?
→ Steal her saucer.

- There's something wrong with my hot dogs.

- Sorry, I'm a waiter, not a veterinarian.

- Are there any bats in this cave?

- There were, but don't worry, the snakes ate all of them.

Do vampires get AIDS?

Why is the letter "t" so important to a stick insect?
→ Without it would be a sick insect.

How do you tell one end of a worm from the other?
→ Put it in a bowl of flour and wait for it to fart.

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
→ Two...but I don't know how they'd get in there!

And God Created The Woman

He was so pleased with his creation that he calls in three of his top advisors: His chief Carpenter, His Chief Tailor, and His Chief Architect.

He presents his creation to his Chiefs and asks them for suggestions and comments.

The Carpenter says:

- Too many forms, you need to straighten things out, flatten it out.

God replies:

- No I like it that way, but thanks

Then the Tailor says:

- Too many strings (hair) sticking out, you need to trim them.

God replies:

- No I like it that way, but thanks

Then the Architect says:

- Wonderful creation, absolutely superb, but next time, please do not place the toilets next to the reception room