Most viewed jokes

- What's your new boyfriend like?

- He's mean, nasty, ugly, smelly and totally evil - but he has some bad points too!

Why type of lightning likes to play sports?
→ Ball lightning

How do hurricanes see?
→ With one eye

What is a Mexican weather report?
→ Chilli today, hot tamale.

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

Circus Clown Barbie ...complete with scary face paint and scary wig

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
→ It allows them to stand closer to the sink.

- Waiter: Tea or coffee, gentlemen?

- 1st customer: I'll have tea.

- 2nd customer: Me, too - and be sure the glass is clean!

(Waiter exits, returns)

- Waiter: Two teas. Which one asked for the clean glass?

An old man visits his doctor and after thorough examination the doctor tells him:

- I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?

- Patient: Well, give me the bad news first.

- Doctor: You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left.

- Patient: OH NO! That's awefull! In two years my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this???

- Doctor: You also have Alzheimer's. In about three months you are going to forget everything I told you.

It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon-load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise.

- Hey Willis!! - the farmer yelled.

- Forget your troubles. Come in with us. Then I'll help you get the wagon up.

- That's mighty nice of you - Willis answered - but I don't think Pa would like me to.

- Aw, come on - the farmer insisted.

- Well okay - the boy finally agreed, and added:

- but Pa won't like it.

After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host:

- I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset.

- Don't be foolish! - the neighbor said with a smile.

- By the way, where is he?

- Under the wagon!

How can you tell if you're making love to a teacher, a nurse or an airline stewardess?

A teacher says we got to do this over and over again til we get it right.
A nurse says hold still this won't hurt a bit.
And an airline stewardess says put this over your mouth and nose and breathe normally.