Most viewed jokes

Yo mama so dark she went to night school and was marked absent!

How does a witch doctor ask a girl to dance?
→ 'Voodoo like to dance with me?'

Why did the witch wear a green felt pointed hat?
→ So she could walk across snooker tables without being seen.

Why can't meteorologists forecast the weather?
→ They are too busy studying comets and meteors

- Do you have bacon and eggs on the menu?

- No, we clean our menus regularly.

What is Black and White, and Red all over?
→ A Skunk with a diaper rash.

One night when a boy prayed to god, the boy asked god: How Long is 1 million years to you?

God replies 1 second.

The Boy asked God: How much is 1 million dollars to you?

God replies 1 penny.

Then the boy asked god if he could have a penny.

God replies...sure:

- gimme 1 second.

What do you get when you cross a midget with a prostitute?
→ A little fucker about so tall.

A kid, just getting home from school runs up to his dad:

- Daddy, daddy! I'm the only one in my class that can count to ten. Why do you rec'un so?

- Why that's because your from Kentucky son. - The dad responses.

The next day the kid gets home from school:

- Daddy, daddy! I'm the only one in my class that knows all the letters in the alphabet. Why do you rec'un so?

- That's because you're from Kentucky son. - The dad tells him again.

The next day the kid busts through the door:

- Daddy. daddy! I'm the only one in school who has a large penis, is that because I'm from Kentucky?

The dad looks at him and says:

- No that's because you're 22.

Chuck Norris, Arnold Swartzenagger, and Jean Claud VanDam, were talking one day. Chuck Norris asked:

- If you were a musician, who would you be?.

Chuck Norris said:

- I would be Motzart.

Jean Claud VanDam said:

- I would be Bethoven.

Arnold said:

- I'll be Bach!