A huge American car screeched to a halt in a sleepy English village, and the driver called out to a local inhabitant:
- Say, am I on the right road for Shakespeare's birthplace?
- Ay, straight on, sir - said the rustic.
- but no need to hurry. He's dead.
Did you hear about Mike Tyson's horse?
→ It got angry and bit at the champ!
What did the really ugly man do for a living?
→ He posed for Halloween masks.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
How do you stop a Polish army on horseback?
→ Turn off the carousel.
Who wears a dirty white robe and rides a pig?
→ Lawrence of Poland
A fool and his money are asked to go everywhere!
A fool and his money are soon elected.
A fool and his money are soon popular.
A fool and his money is my kind of customer!
If money's the root of all evil, why do churches want it?
All I ask is to prove that money can't make me happy.
Come to Florida, bring money, BUT GET THE HECK OFF OUR BEACH!
Even the blind can see money.
Expert - Someone who knows less, but makes more money.
It's not the money I want, it's the stuff.
Life is a game. Money is how we keep score.
Money burns a hole in my pocket...how about yours?
Money is like an arm or leg, use it or lose it.
Money is the root of all bills.
Money may buy "friendship," but it cannot buy love.
Money Talks - and it usually says NO!!
Never forget a friend, especially if he owes you money.
Political Motto: I had some morals; sold them for money.
This country has the best politicians money can buy.
Time and Money. Two things we don't have enough of....
Turbo-Tax took money out of my Quicken directory.
Visit your money this year - vacation in Washington D.C.
When money talks, it usually says "Bend over."
You infernal machine! Give me a soda or my money back!
Alimony? ...sounds kind like all yer money
No one kills over drugs ... They kill over money.
Massachusetts has the best politicians money can buy.
How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday??
→ Tell them a joke on Wednesday!!
Yo mama so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
