Guest
Witch Roommates
What do you call two witches who share a room?
→ Broom-mates.
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Guest
Fog In California
What happens when the fog lifts in California?
→ UCLA.
Hot Weather Math
What person adds best in hot weather?
→ A summer.
Guest
Aardvark Neighbors
Why do aardvarks make undesirable neighbors?
→ Because they always have their noses in other people's business!
Guest
Cub Reporter's Report
A cub reporter for a small town newspaper was sent out on his first assignment. He submitted the following report to his editor:
- Mrs. Smith was injured in a car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations on her breasts.
The Editor scolded the new reporter:
- This is a family paper. We don't use words like breasts around here. Now go back and write something more appropiate!
The young reporter thought long and hard. Finally he handed the Editor the following report:
- Mrs. Smith was injured in a car accident today.
She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations on her ( . )( . )
Guest
Hum-Choo
What goes hum-choo, hum choo?
→ A bee with a cold !
Guest
Slow Nun
One day a little old nun was going 35 miles an hour down the highway. The cop pulled her over because she was so slow and asked her why she didn't go any faster.
She pointed at the sign that said highway 35 on it and said that was the speed limit. The cop corrected her and told her that it was highway 35.
The cop looked in the back and saw two scared nuns. He asked them what was wrong and they said:
- We just got off highway 130!
Guest
Two Meaningless Words
Name two words that have no meaning.
→ Supercalifragilisticexpialodocious and detente.
Guest
Gandhi Wordplay
Ghandi walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that his feet became quite thick and hard. Even when he wasn't on a hunger strike, he did not eat much and became quite thin and frail.
He also was quite a spiritual person. Furthermore, due to his diet, he ended up with very bad breath.
He became known as a super-calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.
Guest
Say No To Everything
Barry took a girl out on her first date. When they pulled off into a secluded area around midnight, the girl said:
- My mother told me to say no to everything.
- Well - Barry said.
- do you mind if I put my arm around you?
- No - the girl replied.
- Do you mind if I put my other hand on your leg?
- N-n-no - the girl replied.
- You know - Barry said.
- We're going to have a lotta fun if you're on the level about this.