Most viewed jokes

Yo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

A young lady came home and told her Mother that her boyfriend had proposed but she had turned him down because she found out he was an atheist, and didn't believe in Heaven or Hell.

- Marry him anyway, dear - the Mother said.

- Between the two of us, we'll show him just how wrong he is.

Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
→ In case she locks the keys in her car.

Why did the blonde get fired from her job working at an M&M factory?
→ She kept throwing out all of the W's!

Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
→ From eating with forks.

A blonde and a brunette are taking a walk, and the burnette goes, "Oh look, a dead bird," and the blonde looks up at the sky and goes, "Where?"

If at first you don't succeed...
buy her another drink

How many Scorpios does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ None - they'd rather sit in the dark.

A guy driving a Yugo pulled up to a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce.

He rolled down his window and shouted to the driver of the Rolls:

- Hey, buddy, that's a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I've got a phone in my Yugo!

The driver of the Rolls looked over and said snobbishly:

- Yes, I have a phone.

The driver of the Yugo said:

- Cool! Hey, you also got a fridge in there, too? I've got one in the back seat of my Yugo!

The driver of the Rolls, much annoyed, says:

- Yes, I have a refrigerator.

The driver of the Yugo said:

- That's great, man! Hey, you got a TV in there? You know, I got a TV in the back seat of my Yugo!

The driver of the Rolls, quite irritated by now, replied:

- Of course, I have a television. A Rolls-Royce is the finest luxury car in the world!

The driver of the Yugo said:

- Yes, a very cool car! Hey, you got a bed in there? I got a bed in the back of my Yugo!

The driver of the Rolls, upset that he did not have a bed, sped away and went straight to the dealer, where he promptly ordered a bed to be installed in the back of his Rolls-Royce.

The next morning, he returned to pick up his car, and the bed looked superb. It came complete with silk sheets and a brass-trimmed headboard. It was clearly a bed fit for a Rolls-Royce. So the driver of the Rolls began searching for the Yugo. He drove around all day and finally found the Yugo late that night.

It was parked, with all the windows fogged up from the inside. He got out and knocked on the window of the Yugo. When there wasn't any answer, he continued knocking and knocking until finally, the owner of the Yugo lowered the window, and stuck his soaking wet head out.

- I now have a bed in the back of my Rolls-Royce - the driver of the Rolls stated arrogantly.

The driver of the Yugo looked at him narrowly and said:

- You got me out of the shower to tell me that?!?!

A retired sergeant was asked:

- Well, how do you like civilian life?

- Terrible - he said gruffly.

- all those people around and nobody in charge!