Most viewed jokes

What is the most insensitive part of a penis?
→ The man.

Studly young Romeo and his dimwitted college sidekick are perched near the front door of the girls' dorm. Several plain Janes walk by as the two converse.

Then a Sharon Stone look-alike emerges from the dorm and saunters past. Romeo turns, smiles, and -- barely audibly -- inquires:

- Tickle your ass with a feather?

The young beauty -- startled by what she thinks she heard -- exclaims:

- What?!

Without missing a beat, Romeo repeats:

- Typical nasty weather?

- Oh - she demures.

- Yes - and goes on her way.

More young lovelies walk by and the scene is repeated.

- Tickle your ass with a feather?

- What?

- Typical nasty weather?

Finally, Romeo delivers his line:

- Tickle your ass with a feather? and his prospect stops, smiles and invites him up to her room.

Now the sidekick, alone, having paid close attention, decides to try this remarkable new technique. A likely prospect comes near. The sidekick leers and blurts out:

- Cram a feather up your ass?

Shocked, the girl spins around and slaps him, to which he replies:

- Looks like rain!

A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor were shipwrecked on an island. One morning, the sailor climbed a tall coconut tree and yelled:

- Stop making love down there!

- What's the matter with you? - the husband said when the sailor climbed down.

- We weren't making love.

- Sorry - said the sailor - From up there it looked like you were.

Every morning thereafter, the sailor scaled the same tree and yelled the same thing. Finally the husband decided to climb the tree and see for himself. With great difficulty, he made his way to the top. The husband says to himself:

- By golly he's right! It DOES look like they're makin' love down there!

One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her husband in bed with another woman. Angry, she became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their apartment, killing him instantly. When brought before the court on charges of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say to defend herself.

- Well, Your Honor - she replied coolly - I figured that at 92, if he could make love to another woman, he could fly!

A blonde calls the fire department cause her house was on fire. They ask her how to get there and she says "Duh, big red truck?!."

What's the difference between a lawyer and a mosquito?
→ A mosquito drops off you when you die!

If men had PMS/PMT, what would happen?
a. The federal government would allocate funds to study it.
b. Cramps would become an acceptable reason to apply for permanent disability.
c. There would be a federal holiday every 28 days

Did you hear about the woman who only had two chances to get pregnant?
→ She blew them both...

Why did the blonde go half way to Sweden and then turn around and come home?
→ It took her that long to discover that a 14 inch Viking was a television.

Top 10 things you'll never hear a girl say.

1. I'm bored. Let's shave my pussy!
2. Shouldn't you be out drinking with your friends?
3. Great fart!! Rip another one!
4. Pet names are silly. I just call it my c*nt.
5. You should see the shit I just birthed.
6. I'd rather play Duke Nukem than go shopping.
7. Let's start subscribing to Hustler.
8. Would you like to see a video of me going down on my friend?
9. I'll swallow it all. I love the taste of it!
10. Are you sure you've had enough to drink? I'm buying.