Most viewed jokes

What do you call two blondes in a canoe?
→ Fur traders.

Why do hunters make the best lovers?
→ Because they go deep in the bush, shoot more than once and they eat what they shoot.

Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
→ They don't have balls to scratch.

Why is air a lot like sex?
→ Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

What did the tooth say to the departing dentist?
→ Fill me in when you get back

- Policeman: How can you say you don't have any outstanding tickets?

- Driver: They're all in the glove compartment.

A young businessman rented a beautiful office and furnished it with antiques. However, no business was coming in. Sitting there, worrying, he saw a man come into the outer office.

Wanting to look busy, he picked up the phone and pretended he was negotiating a big deal. He spoke loudly about big figures and huge commitments. Finally, he put down the phone and asked the visitor:

- Can I help you?

The man said:

- I've come to install the phone.

Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stops by his office.

As she walks in unannounced, she finds his secretary sitting on his lap.

Without hesitating, he begins to dictate a letter...:

- And in conclusion gentlemen, budget cut or not, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair.

An organization is like a tree full of monkeys...

all on different limbs,... at different levels,...

some climbing up.

The monkeys on the top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces.

The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.

Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering?
→ The noise gave her a headache.