Most viewed jokes

Did you hear about that guy who was asked to be a Jehovah's witness?
→ He refused becuase he hadn't seen the accident.

- And how much of that stack of hay did you steal, Kavanaugh? - the priest asked at confession.

- I might as well confess to the whole stack, your Reverence, - said Kavanaugh.

- I'm goin' after the rest of it tonight!

What's a rabbits' favourite car?
→ Any make, just as long it's a hutchback!

How is a rabbit like a plum?
→ They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

How many cops does it take to throw a man down the stairs?
→ None. He fell.

A cop pulls a guy over for weaving across two lanes of traffic.

He walks up to the drivers window and asks:

- You drinkin'?

The driver said:

- You buyin'?

- Police officer: Excuse me, but your dog has been chasing a man on his bicycle.

- Dog owner: Are you crazy? My dog can't even ride a bicycle.

A Japanese man was boasting about how his country had such advanced medical technology. He said:

- We take the lungs out of a man, perform an operation, put the lungs back in, and in 4 weeks, the man is looking for work.

An Englishman said:

- We are far more advanced than you. We can take the heart out of a man, perform surgery and have him ready for work in just 3 weeks.

The Irishman says:

- That's nothing; we can take a kidney out of a man, put into another man's body and have them looking for work in 2 weeks.

The American says:

- Well hell, that's nothin'. We had an idiot taken out of Texas, put in the Whitehouse and now half the country is lookin' for work!

How many MP's does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Twenty-one. One to change it and twenty to form a fact-finding committee to learn more about how it's done.

Why are pigs such early risers?
→ Did you ever try to shut off a rooster?