Most viewed jokes

What is a baseball dog?
→ One that chases fowls.

Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the other:

- I hear that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs.

- Odd, but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do - her companion replies.

Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward him.

- Two dogs, please - says one.

The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs in oil. Excited, the nuns hurry over to a bench and begin to unwrap their 'dogs.' The mother superior is first to open hers.
Staring at it for a moment, she leans over to the other nun and whispers cautiously:

- What part did you get?

- Have you heard that all the buses and trains are stopping today?

- No. Is there a strike?

- No, they're stopping to let the passengers off.

The Greatest Party by Maud D. Merrier

Why didn't the blondes go to the movies on one buck night?
→ They couldn't fit a deer into the car.

How many blonde's does it take to change a light bulb?
→ 3. 1 to find the bulb, 1 to find a ladder and 1 to find a man.

How does a blonde kill a fish?
→ She drowns it.

There were those three guys, a priest, a doctor and an engineer, and they were playing golf. But the group before them was extremely slow and at each hole they waited hours.

Finally the priest asked around, why was that other group was so slow? He was told that they were very courageous firemen who saved the golf course a couple of years ago from a terrible fire, in which they all lost their sight. As a proof of appreciation they were given the right to play on the course whenever they wanted. They like that a lot, but being blind they are just not too good at hitting the ball, let alone finding it after it's hit.

The priest said:

- Oh my this is terrible. Tonight I'll say a little prayer for these courageous souls.

The doctor heard that and said:

- Don't worry. I'll send them to a friend of mine, he's an ophtalmologist and he works wonders.

The engineer said:

- Wait. Why can't they just play at night?

What did they call the canary that flew into the pastry dish?
→ Tweetie Pie!

What do you call a woman with a bicycle on her head?
→ Petal!