Most viewed jokes

What's the best thing to put into a pizza?
→ Your teeth.

Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
→ The area around the Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.

- Police Chief: Why did you ticket the computer?

- Officer: It was speeding along the information highway.

- Now as I understand it, Sir - said the police officer to the motorist - you were driving this vehicle when the accident occurred. Can you tell me what happened?

- I'm afraid not, officer - replied the motorist.

- I had my eyes shut!

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads "low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.

Cars are backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says:

- Got stuck, huh?

The truck driver says:

- No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.

How many republicans does it take to disarm the law abiding public so that the government can enforce totalitarianistic and unconstitutional laws?
→ None. The Sociali--Democrats do that

What do you get when you cross a pig with a canary?
→ I don't know, but when it sits on your electric wire and sings, all your lights go out

What do you call a pig who overacts?
→ A ham ham.

What do you call a pig thief?
→ A hamburglar!

How does a mama pig put her piglets to sleep?
→ She reads them pig tales.