Most viewed jokes

An old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day.

The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail.

The cowboy then moved slowly to the back of his horse, lifted its tail, and placed a big kiss where the sun don't shine.

He dropped the horse's tail, stepped up on the walk and aimed toward the swinging doors of the saloon.

- Hold on there, Mister - said the sheriff.

- Did I just see what I think I saw?

- Reckon you did, Sheriff. I got me some powerful chapped lips.

- And that cures them? - the Sheriff asked.

- Nope, but it keeps me from lick'en 'em.

Men come in three sizes:
Small, medium, and Oh My God!!!

Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.

To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive.

Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
→ When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.

What is the last thing Jesus Christ said to the Teamsters?
→ "Don't do anything 'till I get back."

What is every Amish woman's private fantasy?
→ Two Mennonite!

A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole,because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving bythe regular culling of the weakest members. In much the same way the humanbrain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills off brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, constantly making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

They would market the Reverse Polish Ornament, which is put in your attic on the weekend after Thanksgiving, and placed out for viewing the day after the January Bowl Games.

What is the Australian for foreplay?
→ Brace yourself, Sheila!

And the Welsh?
→ Are you awake, Gwen?

On a cross-country bus trip, Mrs. Davis became extremely queasy due to motion sickness.

She make her way to the restroom, only to find it locked.

She went back to her seat, laid her head back and tried to fight off the nausea. Unsuccessfully, she rolled her head to the right and threw up on the lap of a man who was dozing and who was therefore unaware of what had happened.

When the fellow awoke, he was shocked to find himself covered in vomit.

Turning to him, Mrs. Davis said:

- There now, are you feeling better?!