Ouch — most commented jokes

What is Pink and Red and sits in a corner?
→ A baby with a razor blade.

Charlie was playing with his little brother Mickey when the little boy asked whether he could fly like Superman.

"Sure you can, Mickey," Charlie said, "Just flap your arms really really hard." So Mickey climbed up on the windowsill, started flapping like mad, jumped, then smashed into the ground six stories below.

Horrified, their mother came screaming into the room and said, "What the hell happened?!?"

Charlie said, "I was just teaching Mickey not to believe everything someone tells him."

Teacher asks the children to discuss what their Dad's do for a living.

Little Mary says: "My Dad is a lawyer. He puts the bad guys in jail."

Little Jack says: "My Dad is a doctor. He makes all the sick people better."

All the kids in the class had their turn except Little Johnny.

Teacher says: "Johnny, what does your Dad do ?"

Johnny says: "My Dad is dead."

"I'm sorry to hear that, but what did he do before he died ?"

"He turned blue and shat on the carpet."

How do you keep the neighborhood kids off your front lawn?
→ You molest them!.

This guy was walking down the sidewalk when he sees a Little Johnny wearing a red firefighter's hat and sitting in a red wagon which is being pulled slowly by a large Labador Retriever. When he got a little closer, he saw that the kid was holding a rope which is tied to the dog's testicles, which may explain why the dog is walking so slowly. Going up to the kid, he said,"That's a nice fire engine you got there, but I bet it would go faster if you have the rope around the dog's neck." "Yeah," the kid replied.

"But I wouldn't have a siren."

Frank Sinatra, "Old Blue Eyes," has died.

Frank will now be known as "Old Closed Eyes."

Who does Michael Jackson consider a Perfect "10"?
→ Two 5 year olds.

What's black and white and comes in little cans?
→ Michael Jackson

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and greyhound racing?
→ The greyhounds wait for the hares to come out

If Britney Spears and Fat Bastard mated, the resulting child would be: Anna Nicole Smith.