Ouch — most commented jokes

Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book?
→ It's called, "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing"

What did O.J. say to Goldman when he found him with his ex-wife?
→ Hey pal, mind if I cut in?

Lady Di is welcomed at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter. Peter asks: "Oh dear, what happened to you?" Di answers: "I died in a car crash, but wait till you see my friend, he looks much worse". Half an hour later Dodi shows up and St. Peter says: "My God, you look terrible."

Dodi replies: "This is nothing. Wait till you see my driver."

Half an hour later some bones and flesh move slowly to the Gates, and St. Peter says: "So you're the driver?"

"No, I'm Mother Theresa."

What's the difference between Elton John and Princess Diana?
→ One's composing, the other is decomposing.

Did you hear that Princess Di was on the radio a couple of weeks ago?
→ Yep, and on the dashboard, and on the window, and on the hood....

What did Michael Jackson say when his cock slid in the little boys arse?
→ There is a great musician in you.

Why can't the government put Magic Johnson on a stamp?
→ Everyone would be afraid to lick it.

What's stiff and excites women?
→ Elvis Presley.

Stick your tongue out.

Move it up and down.

Relax.

Now move it left and right.

Well done! You have now completed Christopher Reeves workout video.

The McCartney kids are at the family ranch anxiously awaiting news of their mother. Paul emerges from his wife's bedroom. "Kid's......there's good news and bad news." "The bad news is your mother's strength and will to live has been sucked away by her awful disease and she died a few moments ago" "The good news is.... It's steak and chips for dinner!"