Mom/Dad Jokes — most commented jokes

- Big Brother: That planet over there is Mars.

- Little Brother: Then that other one must be Pa's.

A blonde came home from school one day and said to her mom, "I can count higher then all the kids in my second grade class, do you think it is because I am a blonde?"

Her mother replied, "Of couse it is, dear."

The next day, the blonde said, "I can say the alphabet higher then anyone in my class, do you think it is because I am a blonde?"

Her mother replied, "Of course it is dear!"

The next day the blonde came home from her gymnastics and asked her mother, "I have a larger chest then all the kids in my class, do you think its because I am a blonde?"

Her mother replied, "No dear, I think it is because you are eighteen years old."

What did the blonde's mother say when she asked if she could lick the bowl?
→ "Just flush it like everybody else does."

- Mum, do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday?

- No, dear, what?

- A nice teapot.

- But I've got a nice teapot.

- No you haven't. I've just dropped it.

Dad bought Mum a bone-china tea set for her birthday.

- How lovely!

- Yes, but he only did it so as not to have to do the washing-up. Mum's too frightened he'll break it!

The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep.
"Excuse me for disturbing you, ma'am," he said politely, "but I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and I've noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of bread."

- That's right.

- Every day you hit him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were beating him with a chocolate cake.

- Well, today is his birthday.

Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
→ He wasn't what he was cracked up to be!

Johnny was racing around the garden on his new bicycle and called out to his mother to watch his tricks.

'Look, Mum! No hands! Look, Mum! No feet! Waaah! Look, Mum! No teeth!'

- Mother: Did you make your bed today?

- Daughter: Yes, Mom, but I think it would be easier to buy one.

- You can't have any more chocolates tonight. It's not good for you to go to bed on a full stomach.

- Oh, Mum. I promise I'll lay on my side.