Mom/Dad Jokes — most commented jokes

- Do you like your new baby sister?

- She's all right.

- Do you play with her?

- No, and we can't even send her back because she's been here more than 28 days.

A distraught mum rushed into the back yard, where eight-year-old Tommy was banging on the bottom of an old upturned tin bath with a poker.
"What do you think you're doing?" she demanded.
"I'm just entertaining the baby," explained Tommy.

"Where is the baby?" asked his Mum.
"Under the bath."

- Daddy, daddy, can I have another glass of water, please?

- But that's the tenth one I've given you tonight!

- Yes, but the baby's bedroom is still on fire.

- Mum, are the Smiths very poor people?

- I don't think so, Jimmy. Why do you ask?

- Because they made such a fuss when their baby swallowed a coin

What is a baby: A soft pink thing that makes a lot of noise at one end and has no sense of responsibility at the other.

- Fred: My mum's having a new baby.

- Drew: What's wrong with the old one?

- My new baby is the image of his father.

- Never mind. just so long as he's healthy.

After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother wearily arrived at Rhein-Main Air Base in Germany with my eight siblings and me -- all under age 11.
Collecting our many suitcases, the ten of us entered the cramped customs area. A young customs official watched our entourage in disbelief, "Ma'am," he said, "do all these children and this luggage belong to you?"

"Yes, sir," my mother said with a sigh, "they're all mine."

The customs agent began his interrogation: "Ma'am, do you have any weapons, contraband or illegal drugs in your possession?"

"Sir," she calmly answered, "if I'd had any of those items, I would have used them by now."

- Dad, do you like baked apples?

- Yes son, why?

- The orchard's on fire.

- Mum, Mum, Dad's broken my computer!

- How did he do that?

- I dropped it on his head.