Mom/Dad Jokes — most commented jokes

One day a kid asks his mom if he can take a shower with her. She says, "Sure son, but don't look up and don't look down."

So they're taking a shower and the kid reaches up for the soap and he says, "Woo mama! What are those?"

She says, "Those are my headlights." The kid says "Ahh."

Then he drops the soap and bends down to get it and he says, "Woo mama! What is that?" and she replies back with, "That is my garage." The kid says "Ahh."

The next day he asks his dad if he can take a shower with him. The kid does. As he's scrubbing himself with the soap, he drops it. When he picks it up he says, "Woo daddy! What is that?" The father replies back, "That's my limousine."

That night he asks his parents if he could sleep with them and they say, "Sure, just don't look under the covers."

Then in the middle of the night he decides to take a peek. And he says "Wooo mama! Look, daddy is parking his limousine in your garage!"

It's the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date. He's a pretty hip guy with his own car. When he goes to the front door, the girl's father answers and invites him in. "Carrie's not ready yet. Why don't you have a seat?"

Carrie's father asks Bobby what they're planning to do. Bobby replies politely that they will probably just go to the soda shop or a movie.

"Why don't you two go out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it!" Naturally, this comes as a quite a surprise to Bobby - so he asks Carrie's dad to repeat himself.

"Yeah," says Carrie's father, "Carrie really likes to screw; she'll screw all night if we let her!"

A few minutes later, Carrie comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt and announces that she's ready to go. Almost breathless with anticipation, Bobby escorts his date out the front door.

About 20 minutes later, Carrie rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her, and screams at her father, "Dad, it's called the twist!"

My son is so lazy he hates emptying the trash in the recycle bin on his computer.

When I was in junior high school my mother played a good trick on my father. She was always an early riser (as in 5:00 a.m.). My father had to get up at 7:00 for work. She went around the house and set all the clocks to 9:25 or so, then ran frantically into his room, and woke him up yelling "John! John! You overslept!" He was just about out the door before she broke down and let him in on the joke.