Random joke from this category
A father is asked by his friend:
- Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?
- Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector - he replies
To this his friend responds:
- Strange ambition to have for a career.
- Well, he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!
A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee. He made it himself and was so proud. He anxiously waited to hear the verdict on the quality of the coffee. The grandmother had never in her life had such a bad cup of coffee, and as she forced down the last sip she noticed three of those little green army guys in the bottom of the cup.
She asked:
- Honey, why would three little green army guys be in the bottom of my cup?
Her grandson replied:
- You know grandma, it's like on TV, 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup.
My granddaughter came to spend a few weeks with me, and I decided to teach her to sew. After I had gone through a lengthy explanation of how to thread the machine, she stepped back, put her hands on her hips, and said in disbelief, "You mean you can do all that, but you can't operate my Game Boy?"
Andy was away from school for 2 days because he had a flu. On the third day when he went back to school, his teacher told him how he felt.
I feel with my hands Miss !
The teacher asked Simon to say his name backwards.
- No mis - he replied
Why did the nutty kid throw butter out of the window?
→ He wanted to see a butterfly.
Why did the nutty kid throw a glass of water out of the window?
→ He wanted to see a waterfall.
- Teacher: Why do we have a Thanksgiving holiday?
- Student: So we know when to start Christmas shopping!
- Grandma: You've left all your crusts, Mary. When I was your age I ate every one.
- Mary: Do you still like crusts, Grandma?
- Grandma: Yes, I do.
- Mary: Well, you can have mine.
- Jennifer: Are you coming to my party?
- Sandra: No, I ain't.
- Jennifer: Now, you know what Miss told us. Not ain't. It's I am not coming, he is not coming, she is not coming, they are not coming.
- Sandra: Blimey, ain't nobody coming?
