Kids Jokes — most commented jokes

The second grader was in bed with a cold and high temperature.

- How high is it, Doctor? - she wanted to know.

- One hundred and three - said the doctor.

- What is the world record?

Mandy was applying for a summer job.

- How old are you? - asked the owner of the store.

- I'm twelve years old, Sir - answered Mandy.

- And what do you expect to be when you grow up?

- Twenty one, Sir.

- Trevor: That's a cool pair of stockings you have on Jill. One red and one green.

- Jill: Yes, and I have another pair just like it at home.

- Mum: Jackie, go outside and play with your whistle. Your father can't read his paper.

- Jackie: Wow, I'm only eight and I can read it

- Mother: What do you mean, the school must be haunted?

- Daughter: Well, the principal kept going on about the school spirit.

Mary arrived home from school covered in spots.

- Whatever's the matter? - asked her mother.

- I don't know - replied Mary.

- but the teacher thinks I may have caught decimals.

- I told you not eat cake before supper.

- But, Mum, it's part of my homework. 'If you take an eighth of a cake from a whole cake, how much is left.

On the first day at school the girls were sizing each other up and boasting, trying to make good impressions on each other.

- I come from a one-parent family - said one little girl proudly.

- That's nothing. Both my parents remarried after they got divorced. I come from a four parent family!

A little girl was next in line.

- My name's Curtain - she said.

- I hope your first name is not Agnate?

- No, it's velvet!

Two girls were talking in the corridor.

- That boy over there is getting on my nerves - said Clarrie.

- But he's not even looking at you - replied Clara.

- That's what's getting on my nerves - retorted Clarrie.