Kids Jokes — most commented jokes

Why did the little kid dance on the jar of jam?
→ Because the top said:

- Twist to open.

A mafioso's son sits at his desk writing a Christmas list to Jesus. He first writes:

- Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy the whole year, so I want a new...

He looks at it, then crumples it up into a ball and throws it away.

He gets out a new piece of paper and writes again:

- Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy for most of the year, so I want a new...

He again looks at it with disgust and throws it away.

He then gets an idea. He goes into his mother's room, takes a statue of the Virgin Mary, puts it in the closet, and locks the door. He takes another piece of paper and writes:

- Dear baby Jesus. If you ever want to see your mother again...

Newsflash: Two criminals have escaped from prison today. One is orange and 9ft tall, and the other green and yellow and 2ft tall.
The police are searching high and low for them.

Why wouldn't anyone play with the little longhorn?
→ He was too much of a bully!

Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone?
→ She thought children should be seen and not herded!

What game do little cows like to play?
→ Moonopoly.

Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him.

- Don't worry, son. Your mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making them happy.

The next night, it's father's turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying, and mother is saying:

- Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new mommies and daddies.

A few days later, the stork's parents are desperate: their son has been absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he's been all night.

The baby stork says:

- No where. Just scaring the hell out of college students!

What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?
→ It was wound up already.

What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?
→ Forty feet of track - all straight!

- Mum, can I have a dog for Christmas?

- No you can have turkey like everyone else!