At Work — most commented jokes

- Male secretary: Feel free to use my dictaphone.

- New blonde employee: No thanks, I'll just use my finger like everyone else.

How can you tell if a blonde works in an office?
→ A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the bosses' faces.

Whats the difference between your wife and your job?
→ After 10 years, the job still sucks.

Is it sexual harassment if you go to a woman and tell her her hair smells nice?
→ What if the man is a dwarf?

What do hookers do on their night off?
→ Type.

What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have?
→ One that never misses a period.

Two postmen are on break having a cigarette.

While on this break one postman says "Hey look at that snail". The other postman looks down and says "FUCK" and steps on the snail.

Postman 1 looks at him and says "Why'd you do that". Postman2 replys "Because that fucker has been following me all day."

A woman walks into her accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask a few questions." He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, "What is your occupation?" The woman replies, "I'm a whore." The accountant balks and says, "No, no, no. That will never work. That is much too crass. Let's try to rephrase that." The woman, "OK, I'm a prostitute." "No, that is still too crude. Try again." They both think for a minute, then the woman states, "I'm a chicken farmer." The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore or a prostitute?" "Well, I raised over 5,000 cocks last year."

Why did the former porn actor get fired from his job as a gas station attendant?
→ Right before the tanks were full, he would pull out the nozzle and spray gas all over the car.

Why didn't the dentist ask his secretary out?
→ He was already taking out a tooth